Desi Girl Called Isheeta

People at work and other animals

Aaaaagh!!!

Arsehole saga continues # 87541284

This dickweed totally made my night. I have to admit, sometimes I miss hate mails. Especially when they are laced with criticism and judgemental statements, sprinkled with my favourite pet peeve - bad grammar. Please read his jibberish, and my comment. As they say in England, it's a good laugh! Especially for those who like seeing me lash it out to jackasses and dill-pickles.

To you, Abu Salih, my fan mail from the UK - your stupidity was great blog fodder, deserved a post and a toast (the industrial poison solvent kind.. oops, it got alcohol, awwwwwwww, too bad, ah well, you might as well go out the haram way, you dirtbag) May you rot in hell, buddy, and then some.

Go here. SFW - Safe for work too hehehehe.

The bonehead(s) saga continues # 566392

You know what's really sweet? (sarcasm)

When a former "interest" (and I emphasize on former) texts you at night (note to self: get new cell #), wanting to get together, and trying to convince you that he *still* cares about you.

I wouldn't be saying that with a smirk, if I didn't spend half the time during that "sentence" trying to get him to care about me.

So experience with unrequited caring has somehow taught me to grow a spine. So I questioned him this time around:

-if he cared so much, why did he have such a funny way of showing it: by never calling, knowing fully well it would have made my day

-why he never really asked about my day, my life, my family, my world .. when I knew all about his

-why is it that when you gave him so much, he didn't really have the time to give any of it back

Girls are not that complicated, trust me. It's always the same old story with girls. Please don't give them the b.s. that you couldn't afford them, unless they really are gold diggers. All it takes to win a girl's heart (if its been established that its a two-way connection) is to call sometimes, to show an interest in her family as she does to yours, to talk about life, to do things that couples do, to express affection like couples do, to show her that you care about her, to keep in touch like relationshippers do, to call more than once every 2 weeks. This excludes BOO-TAY calls!

His excuse? He has a chaotic life. Sew-weet. I'm sorry, but that is one pathetic excuse.

I'm not a magazine that comes out every fortnight, so don't use me like one. I am not a radio station that you can change the channel to whenever the crappy music or the dumb ads come on. I wasn't asking for his money, or even his precious time. Just that... if you want to spend time with me, give me a reason to spend time with you. Miss me when I'm away. Show me that you need me. Make me want you. Talk to me. About your life, my life, heck, even McCain's buffonery. Don't make me feel like a stranger. When you call me out of the blue, wanting godknowswhat, it makes me feel cheap. I got tired of feeling cheap. I am not a subprime mortgage - no money down now, 700b$ bailout later, thank you come again!

I finally gave in. There was no point arguing with someone who was not ready. Not ready for a relationship, not ready for me. So like I do every single time, I let it go. I couldn't tell him directly that I didn't want him anymore, that I didn't miss him anymore, that I didn't feel anything for him anymore. Its just too late. I told him to forget about it - forget that I wanted to make him understand why I needed him to care about me... as a person.   

You know what was the sweetest?

He persisted. He still wanted to get together. Just like that, out of the blue. I finally told him.

I told him that I had to take care of my mom. Her dad just died. She was in a mess. I couldn't just leave her. And even if I could leave, I wouldn't. Not for him. Not for someone who really didn't care to know fiddly-dee-doo about what was going on with my life or my head or my heart because his life was too chaotic to bother. I shouldn't have to beg someone to want me for me alone at a time when I needed him. It shouldn't have to be when you're bored at home, it should be when you don't have a moment alone and I am the one you want to be alone with, even if just for a moment. 

He felt like a prick. I hate having to make people see sense by making them feel like crap and bringing out the big guns, but I guess with assholes thats the only way.  It's a bittersweet feeling.

Stupid shithead # 2

The other stupidhead is another stupidhead who clearly is the king of stupidheads.

I'm sorry, I am so mad I can't think beyond the word stupid, because, clearly, that is the kind of twats that want to go out with me and me being stupid, this is what I do.

Stupidhead # 2 seemed promising. Everything was going well until my mom got sick. Remember when my mom got sick and I was spending my evenings and weekends in the hallowed halls of the Emergency Department, waiting for God or a miracle or a human doctor to save my mom's life?

Well, at this time Jerkface # 2 was normal. He had asked me to a Raptors game a week before. It was NOT a date. This guy was a buddy. But he booked me for a Raptors game.

So my mom gets sick, and since he is in health care, I ask him what to do. He can't really do much, but he is supportive in that he tells me I should seek medical help. Fair enough. And then he goes, so, if you can't make it to the game, don't worry, Ill get someone else.

Yeah. Its not his fault. He is a mindless stupidhead. This is what happens when you lack a brain. You forget to think. You are incapable of thinking of the consequences of making stupid statements. You are incapable of realizing what the 2 words - BAD TIMING - means.

I never responded. I figured I would give him some time to take his foot out of his mouth. Plus if I opened my mouth, he would be dead.

At midnight, a few days later, while he is drunk in some bar (sorry, this is why I dont date drunks), he sends me a message asking me if Im still coming to the game. I told him I am not motivated to anymore, even though I can. I think this is when his brain grew some balls because he apologized once I explained to him.

But you know what? The damage had been done. It would have been different if I had known him before, and forgave and forgot. But he was so tactless. So utterlessly thoughtless and inconsiderate that well... it was a done deal.

He didnt call or message or anything, and it was good riddance to bad rubbish.

I got a few messages from him after that, but since I had deleted his number by then, I had no idea if that was really him. He'd randoml message me on a friday morning to go out friday night. And I'd be like, "who the eff are you?"

One day when he messaged again, and I asked him again who it was, he was hurt that I had deleted his number and forgotten about him.

Ok, seriously, some of you have seen me - do I look like I am in need of a lobotomy? DO I REALLY look like I need to have a brain transplant? I mean, if you don't keep in touch with someone, if you don't call them, if you have not had the time to forge a solid friendly relationship with someone, WHY would you assume that one day when you appeared out of the blue like a case of bad acne that you will be welcomed with open arms????? WHY? where is the reasoning for this???? Am I missing something here? DId I sleep through that class for courtesy and common sense and howdicksthink101?

You know, Im a gullible fool. I felt bad for being a bitch. So when he asked me out for dinner the 2nd time around, I said yes.

The next day he stands me up.

When I confronted him about it, he goes, I'm sorry, didnt have my phone with me all day, forgot about it, do you want to meet up a bit later?

Delete delete delete. Please, go shit yourself, shitface.

And THEN, the icing on the cake, my pretty petunias. Three months later, twatface has the audacity to ask me out to dinner again. With his track record. And spinning poetry. About me being so cute and amazing and have the body of an angel and how he has unfinished business. And then saying I'm so mean for deleting his number.. yet again!

Ok. First. Body of an angel?! What the frig?!
Two. Unfinished business?! We never even touched.
Three. Mr. Inconsiderate about ME. My family's well being for a Raptors game.
Four. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.

WHAT THE HELL is this world coming to?! WHY do people assume that I am ok with them fucking with my  head? WHY should I give a shit about you, if you don't give a shit about me? WHY should I hold on to imaginary dreams? WHy do you want to take advantage of my kindness? WHy do you mistake my kindness for stupidity? WHy do you think I would reciprocate your stupidity? Why are there so many stupid people?

The boat is filling up. Take a number! The boat's sailed and sailing sailing sailing away. You've shat yourself, and I am not sorry. I don't care if it sinks. That is not my problem. I didn't bury an axe in it, you did.

I gave you something, you losers.
You gave me nothng.
Nothing. Not even broken dreams.
Please.. go metamucil yourselves.

Stupid shithead # 1

Just when you think that there are smart, sensible people out there hence there is hope.. you realize you were in some lucid dream.

What is with so many dodobirds these days? Aren't they supposed to extinct?! More importantly, why are they around me? Even more importantly, why the hell do I give them the time of day?!

Does anybody remember Curly-Fuckin-Fry? No? The twat that called ME clinger. Well, no, you wouldn't remember.... how could you? Thats another extinct muthoose!

BUT anyways, that stupid jambalaya has been calling me for a while now. I met him in March. We went out a few times, for ONE week. Until he fucked up by making me look despo for him by calling ME clingy, when he was the one that was on my coat-tails. After I pointed out to him that he was the one with the thick skull, he regardless told me that if I wanted to get a guy, I should play hard-to-get, because that will keep a guy interested in the girl.

Of course I ditched his illiterate ass after that. Meaning I ditched him in that I deleted his number, etc. And then 3 weeks later, he started calling me. And texting me. And trying to get me to see him every weekend or so, on the pretense that we should stay "friends". And when I told him I was too busy with my other real friends, he impored me to hang out with him because he thought I was "cool". And so I pitied him, and said ok, but when it came to actually talking to him or meeting him, I never bothered, because really, I had better things to do than spending time with... yes, you guessed it, dodobirds!

Since then he has implied he would like us to go out. Thats when I do a "Run Forresst run!" He was sneaky though, when he implied that. How? "Hey Isheeta, what are you doing Saturday night? Let's go out for dinner." "Hey, can we hang out?" And when I said I was busy, and even resorted to an imaginary boyfriend, he'd act all jealous. Reeking of desperation. It was pathetic. And is it possible that one can smell stupid? Well, this hobo did. It was sad. He'd use the pity card on me. And then I decided to stop being such a girl and say fuck it. I don't give a shit. I am not God, I can't feel empathy for every curly fuckin fry out there. So I have never seen him since that day when he called me clingy. Why? Because I don't have stupid written all over me.

Does that dingdong have stupid written all over him? Why, yes he does. You know why? I'll tell you why. He calls me every few weeks. I never pick up his calls. He sends me text messages every so often. I never respond. He leaves me voice messages. Delete delete delete. Its been 6 months since. You would think a guy with corn stuck up his ass would have figured out by now that I am being a royal biatch and I have no interest in him whatsoever - in seeing him, in talking to him, in being his friend. I don't hate him or anything.. I just think I've never come across anyone so stupid in my entire life. And I dunno, at the rate the world is going these days, maybe stupidity is contagious. I don't want to get the stupid cooties.

What does that dickstick do during Eid? He sends me Eid greetings. What do I do? Nothing. I'm sorry, but I don't care. What does that twit do today? He calls me.. yet again. So today, I reached my stupid threshold. He messaged me. I let him have it. It's been a while since I actually grew some spine, but today, I did.

I told him he was one sneaky little devil. That like he claimed, we really have nothing in common. That I didn't understand how he could continuously keep on contacting me, considering I treated him worse than a subprime mortgage. That I didn't want to be his "friend" because.. well, I didn't like having stupid friends. That he missed the boat. Then the boat sailed. And then the boat sank. And after it sank, it started rotting on the ocean bed. And there was no way he could haul this boat out of the abyss where the boat sank, even if had the biggest boat-hauling-machine in the world. That he fucked up. That he never even apologized. That he was just so damn stupid. I mean, WHY would you contact someone continuoulsy for SIX months if they NEVER picked up your phone calls?!!!!!!!!!!!! IT just PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH.

And then I told him to get lost to take care of himself and good luck. You would think he would NOT respond so he would have the last word.

He writes back, "you too".

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-SERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

 

Tuesday Twits

One of my best male friends (NOT man-friend, a là Sex & The City) told me a couple of weeks ago that one of the things that throws guys off about me is ....in addition to me being sorta loudmouth yet pretty girl, and being a Double M boobs size (Massive Mammaries).... well, my car.

My fuckin' car.

It's bad enough I'm a midget with curly hair and no job, no soulmate, no life, but now you got to look at me having a nice car as a NEG-UH-TEEVE?!

I put up a lot of facebook pics this summer about me having a ball. Me on vacations, me with babies, me in weddings, me doing everything that people with jobs don't have the time to do. Because lets face it, I AM having a ball, for reals. Some smartass "friend" writes back to me "Wow, youre having lots of fun!" To which I respond, "Yep! Its summer and its all about fun!"

To which he further responded, that "yeah, true, not all of us have money to spend in daddy's coat-tails, some of us have to work for a living!"

To which I responded with a simple "Fuck you."

You know, I used to feel guilty about where I come from. But you know what, no more.

I have tried time and time again, throughout the summer to get a job. Countless interviews. Taking up classes that I don't even know if I will ever use! French classes! Medical device classes!  Networking sessions. Sending out mass emails. Writing letters to head honchos. Internships even. This is where I don't get paid. Volunteering. Not even the bleeding kitten shelter wants my FREE services. Fine. Nobody wants me, fine. ok! So what do you want me to do? Wither away and die?! Cry boo hoo hooo?! It's my fault I'm completely useless at this job thing. It's my fault my degree is probably useless. But you know what?! Its MY money. It's my debt. It's my time. You can't afford me, fine, fuck you, get out of my way. What did Fergie say, "If you got no money, take your broke ass home?!" Yeah, take your BROKE A.S.S. home. BUT do not patronize me and rub it in my face just because you have to work 9-5, and*lucky* me don't have to work like the rest of the world to put food in my mouth. Whatever. F-U-C-K YOU, Facebook FuckingUseless AntiFriend. You don't see me take out dollar bills and rub it on your face. I don't care whether you have money or not, I don't make big deals about money, WHY do you have to do it to me?! At least you are a useful member of society. At least when you go out with your friends and meet new people, you don't have to look down at the tablecloth and sort of wish the world would eat you up as you whisper to them that you're "in transition"! At least when you see your bills every month, you sort of feel justified for doing all the crazy shit you do because thats ok, you have automatic deposits every 2 weeks! I am *trying* to be the best I can be, to fit in to YOUR society...... but I am not going to cry me a fuckin' river because I am having some fun with my life.

Maybe its about time that you Mr. Facebook FuckingUseless AntiFriend, like me, tell the world to screw off and JUST have fun with it. Stop worrying so damn much and just live like you got cancer or listeriosis and stop hating others and worrying about what others think of you.

My car is a dick magnet, but I love it love it love it.

Be a life magnet and just go with it.

Ok, that felt good.

Love and other randomness

Today, a "friend" from Facebook contacted me and asked where I've been. This wasn't one of the usual "Where's Waldo" type of questions that you see on your cereal box, which is the impetus to you getting a pencil and tracing Waldo's whereabouts as you stuff your face with fruit loops while stealing glances at Dora the Explorer on Saturday morning television.

This was one of those rhetorical surprised questions because this "Where have you been" was followed by a LOT of question marks, like, "Where have you been, hun????????????????????"

She also followed this with, "I haven't heard from you in ages, why aren't you showing me some love????????!!!!!!"

Well. All I can say is, mighty flattering. And pretty stupid.

I'm sorry, I'm a harsh little pig. But when you start talking utter nonsense, I can be a total biatch.

First of all, this message was coming from someone who I have gone out with..... ONCE in my life. We met through acquaintances, and she must have liked me, because she invited me out asked me to accompany her to some event/outing dumb club. Granted, she really "took care of me" during the night, so I actually had a good time with her. However, after coming home that night, I realized that I:
1) would rather rot in hell than go to another club
2) really couldn't be bothered to mingle with people with meat between their ears
3) thought she was a nice girl with a good heart, but.........she was a party animal hungry for Toronto's pathetic brown club party scene.... you know, the type where you get all dolled up to go to parties just so you can mingle with all the people that you gossip about..... and to see your face in every Facebook album out there. I am sorry but that is a lame way to spend your weekend. I also didn't like the fact that whenever she thought of me, it was usually to accompany her to some "clubnight", which I hate anyways.

My beef is not with her, of course. My beef is with people like her who abuse the L word. (Lesbianism does not count). I'm talking about Love.

"Why haven't you shown me any love??????"

Why haven't I shown you any love?! Lady, do you KNOW what love is? Do you wanna know what love is?! I remember that dumb cheesy song from the 80's..."I wanna know what looooooooove iiiiiiiiiiiiis......" Oh god, horrible trip down memory lane.

My point is: 1) stop talking like a thug! and 2) Stop trivializing love!

Love is not something that can be doled out like how one doles out candy to every little gap-toothed 10 year old wannabe princess on Halloween night. Love is not something that you can figure out in one day, no matter what you've learnt from Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail. Love is not consummating your arranged marriage with a perfect stranger then thanking your parents for their version of love that led you to your soulmate. Love is not something you feel as a 30-year-old screaming like a teenager as you watch has-beens like New Kids or the Spice Girls relive their glory. Love is not something you feel as a lonely single person with a blind date just because they are the last option out there.  Love does not happen in half-a-day, like in Bollywood. Love does not have to happen in years, like a couple cohabiting since their high-school years in their perfect New England house but who still refuse to legalize it on paper for fear of commitment issues, like in Hollywood. Love is not about being the top commercial loser for gift-giving on Valentine's. Love is not screeching "OMG, I LOVE YOU!" to your real estate agent as they find you your perfect apartment. Love is not about uttering incoherencies to random strangers as you try to figure out why the room is spinning while you try to down your 4th shot of tequila. Love is not something you tell someone every day, then when things get hard or issues come up, you disappear.

<Cheesy part>

Love is time-consuming. Love is when you mention something really silly about yourself to someone (e.g. you snore, ahem ahem!) and they still want to be with you. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man, and they're not on facebook nor send each other a million applications to prove their love to the world. Love is when you go through hell when you're a bum, and the other person wants to make hell a little better for you by fluffing up the pillows. Love is about keeping in touch with someone, dumb club parties or not.

Because there is no college or training program for love (does not include unrealistic movies) it's a bit hard to show how you feel, but this is only because your heart is more used to feeling love than expressing love. With a little practice and time, and with the right person, it becomes easier to express it. Love is all about wanting the right thing for someone else, even when you end up with the wrong thing or nothing instead.

Love is unconditional, and the only person who can give it to you without fail while expecting absolutely nothing in return does not belong to your list of friends in Facebook, nor is it always guaranteed from your family. That person lives in your heart and head, because you can't see him nor hear him, and despite all of that you still ultimately expect Him to perform miracles for you in your times of need... because you have been told He loves you, even though you do a very poor job of showing it to Him. 

</Cheesy part>

Please do not expect to find love whenever someone says they love you. That is utter bullshit. I'm in love with the idea of love, and when I love someone, there is no expiry date. But I won't say I love someone, or show them "love", for the sake of making someone feel better. When I love someone, trust me, they will know all about it - and not in so many words.

Love is about finding the "perfect" pair of shoes (not necessarily on sale), making you ooh and aah about what a lucky bitch you are that you found the perfect pair and how envious your friends would be when they see them on your feet, then going home and wearing them a few times in front of the mirror while you do silly pirouettes or dance moves or fashion catwalks in them, sighing when you see your credit card bill a month later, wearing them to that special outing with the significant other or your girls and the killer dress....

...and them hurting you like a bitch the whole night.

Love is like a double-edged sword - pleasure (to the sword-holder) and pain (to the ...beheaded).

Love is about looking at the blisters the next day, sighing while you examine the shoes again, wanting to douse them in flames.... and instead of throwing them away because they mangled your feet and toes... you tuck them away in your shoe closet for special nights. You wear them like twice in a lifetime, and you refuse to throw them away.

So don't expect me to show love that easily, especially to dumb ghetto speak just because you want something from me when the timing is right for you. Love cannot be marginalized with petty randomness, and not even a lame shoe analogy can give love its due credit!

Good, Clean Fun

Definition of Good, Clean Fun:

Washing your beautiful new shiny BMW on a sunny day - good, clean fun.
Going bowling with the cousins and girlfriends - good, clean fun.
Paying your ever-increasing line of credit online - good, clean fun (in that you dont have to wait in line at the bank).
Reading a bedtime story to the little one - good, clean fun.

Isheeta - is NOT an activity, hence is NOT good, clean fun.

I am beginning to feel like a broken record that has had a carton of expired milk spilled all over. I feel like Calamity Jane high on steriods. You know what they all have in common? WAY PAST their expiry date.

I am most definitely not way past my expiry date. You know why? Because I'm fucking extra-ordinary! And so I definitely will not entertain, "but lets just have some good clean fun, baby!" from shitheads. Because baby, THAT phrase, those 3 llittle words - as beautiful they may sound to a guy are definitely NOT the 3 little words every girl hopes to hear from the man she is interested in. Those 3 words are the plague reincarnated. They belong to the dinosaur era! Grow up! Grow some balls! If you want to have fun with me, be a man and shoulder some of that responsibilities/difficulties/headaches that comes with being a MAN in a relationship.

Responsibilities are not that bad as one makes them out to be. Sometimes they are fun. Because in addition to headaches, they also come with perks. And you can only appreciate the value of perks, if you work for it. Like jobs.

Ive just spent the last week scouring job sites looking for employment. Now that I have finally finished this program, I can officially stop telling people that I'm a student, and have proceeded to promote myself to a professional B.U.M.

It is not pretty!

I dont know how people do it - I mean, stay patient. I am so damn impulsive. Not a good thing to write on your resume. Scouring for clothes and shoes in a busy mall with 70% off everything is comparatively a walk in the park. Writing random letters to strangers grovelling for an opportunity is like walking on hot coals using your nipples for balance (OUCH!!!!!!!)

I know this will be the most depressing, humbling, boring, excruciatingly painful time of my life. A guy telling you he wants to have only good, clean fun with you comes a relative close second to match this feeling. But you know what, I figure moments like these comes once in a blue moon (the job search, not the dickhead requests), so I figure I should prepare myself for the worst.

I need to be productive.

This is the worst part. How can you be productive, with no money? With gas prices shooting astronomical levels, Im restricted to Mississausage, where everything shuts down at 6 pm. Shopping is fun, but thats only good when youve had a bad day, and I cant do that EVERY day since unemployment days are all bad days. Ive joined a recreational club, but I will feel like such a loser going in ALONE. I got all pumped up today to go dancing... I drive all the way, can't find parking, and then I just... pulled a complete unIsheeta-like stunt. I drove back home. I couldn't fathom the thought of walking into one of these places alone. Even though every one walks in alone. Aargh! But thats ok, one can salsa for only so long till one gets sick of breathing in sweat fumes. Theatre is nice, but thats like being one of those losers who walks into a date movie alone. I cant do that. I forgot what it was like to have fun. I guess this is what all Type A personality Doctors must feel like... hahahaha.

How is it that I can't even have some Good Clean Fun on my own? How did I reach the epitomy of drollness? Is drollness even a word? Why am I up on a Saturday morning wondering if a word fits in the lexicon when I should be revelling in my new-found freedom minus books? My parents aren't here, I could go out all night and never even have to worry about curfew... and all I did was watch a bit of The Fugitive and a bit of Ice Age. And that was what was showing on the telly, not even rental... because I got too lazy to go out.

I need new hobbies. I need to be wonder woman all over again. I need to stop thinking about consequences of going out. I need to just get back into the game. Not THAT kinda game - sorry, player men are useless trolls. I need to laugh at just stupid Good Clean Fun game requests from fucktards and just do stuff like ... I dunno, play ultimate frisbees or joining a league or going to picnics or feeding kittens at the Humane Society or just painting the town red.

I need to get Serious and Dirty.

The funness in being stalked

Thank you, my precious South African readers from bringing me out from the cold!

So much has been happening...

++ The SUN is out. The beloved sun wanted my company all week.. how could I resist? mmmm, Ish has missed the sun like the roses missed the rain... purrrrrrrrrrr hehehe
++ I got lazy = facebook.. stupid @#@#$$% facebook
++ Working out - Ive been on the Abs Diet .. so-so. It's been tough, pretties! My rotund brothas and sistahs, I NOW know what its like, I am sorry for all of the name calling pertaining to lard in the past, forgive me oh ye of large natures! But I have lost 6 lbs and working out every day and eating healthy so YES! It MAY just work, sistahs.

And now, the mother of all posts...

Do you remember the guy who called ME clingy? No? Do your homework, here!

You know what I most like about being me? The fact that destiny is so true to me... so what if one day a butcher asks me out.. so what if married men with prams give me the eye... the very next day, the sense of balance is returned when people who have jacked me over get the s*** that is due to them.

2 weeks after the jackass who called me clingy made me realize how stupid it was of me to give hope to mankind for dating my beautiful ass, he sends me a random text message.

Now since I deleted this twit from my phone, I was kinda confused as to who it was... was it, errr, my ex who has recently ditched me a 2nd time around (also deleted from phone).. was it the talkative Sally I went on a date a few weeks ago.. was it the other guy who I can't even rememberthenamebutitwasinYorkdalemall... It is SO hard being so popular and not knowing who you are supposed to have ditched or vice-versa!

I am almost tempted to text him back with ... "who are you?"hahahhahahahahhahahaa... Im sure he would have been so pissed... wth are you supposed to say when you realize you've been deleted off someone's list?! OUCH!

Anyways, so he sends me a reply back... we are exchanging pleasantries on sms when I realize it is the moron who called me clinger (henceforth known as The Real Clinger). It is quite.. blah, to say the least so I cut him off by saying that I have a meeting. He asks me if he can call me later. I LAUGH so loudly that I almost pee at my non-meeting.. but I say yes...

Things can only get better. - show-time people! Take notes, The Art of Slow Torture by Ish and co-authored by Sun Tzu begins!

On clockwork, The Real Clinger calls me after he's done work. I am about to head to the gym... I look at the caller ID blinking... and then I click on "Reject call"

:D It's only begun.

I've come back from the gym, taken a shower,  watching telly, when I see a message from The Real Clinger asking me if I am free to talk. I tell him I'll call back in 10 minutes. I finally wait 15 mins, then call back.

And I call back, and it is the most boring convo in the history of stalking.

The Real Clinger asks me if I am surprised at his calling back. I tell him no, not really... I wasn't expecting it, but I'm not surprised either. I can hear his disappointment on the phone.. and I stifle a smile at the other end.

Then The Real Clinger asks me if I wanna do something over the weekend.. I tell him no, I've got more important things to do. He tells me maybe next week.. I tell him I'll see.

I finally tell him I have to wake up in the morning, and he lets me off.

Over the next few weeks, I kid you not, EVERY 24 hours at the very least... The Real Clinger has been calling me.. texting me... wanting to see me... stalking me to say the least!

And I've been ignoring him. Sometimes I give him hope, I respond to his texts, I talk to him... and sometimes I'm the opposite. I cannot help but feel this sense of insane sadism as I do this. Have I become The Real Bitch here? Naaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

I'm not sure what is it that he wants from me -  he's the one who told me that I was clingy, he's the one that admitted to having problems with commitment in our predictable future, he's the one who brushed me off and made me feel so small.. and NOW, he is running after me, a few times every other day. I'm thinking when he was telling me that I was clingy, he meant HIMSELF, not me and my ears weren't workng right!

To top it off, his messages border on pathetic. When I finally confronted him and told him that sorry, my priorities do not include him, I could hear him sob thru his texts:
"but can't we just be friends, can't we?"
"I like being friends with you, you're cool to be with"
"are you free this weekend to squeeze me in your busy schedule?"
"Hey are you awake? can I call?"
"hey how was your weekend, did anything fun? enjoying the weather?"

I'm just rolling my eyes here.

Since I have been ditching him, he has since resorted to the pity card - taking advantage of my kindness by making himself look pathetic and making me pity him... "I feel like you don't care for me anymore" (hahhahahahhahahahhaa, oh that was classic!) because when I finally realized how LONELY he really is, I pitied him. How desperate and lonely does one have to be to chase after someone who they chased away by calling them clingy when in reality, he's the clinger himself?! WOW, that is the lowest of all low in the realm of patheticness... and The Real Clinger is at the bottom of even that. 

The Real Clinger: "oh, you're out shopping, what are you getting me?"
isheeta: "nothing, whats the occasion?"
The Real Clinger: "None, just because."
isheeta: "Well, cmon, you gotta do better than that."
The Real Clinger:  "...pause... it would put a smile on my face"
isheeta: "you should have a smile on your face as it is with this gorgeous weather"
The Real Clinger: "Well maybe you can see it when you see me this week weekend?"
isheeta: "I have a date this week so I cant promise anything"
The Real Clinger: "ok"

I think that should finally stop him. It's been 2.5 weeks of stalking. I'm not sure how celebrities enjoy being hounded by paparazzi. I've got one local stalker and while its a great ego boost, it is also coupled with feelings of pity and I don't like doling out the pity card unless you're a homeless animal or a child in some war-torn country.

Before the stalker started stalking me, I felt amazing. Now that I ditched him, I feel like I'm on top of this world! Maybe the sun helped, I dunno, but I am funnier in person, happier, and loving every bit of life.... I dont care that RedBull cut me off AGAIN (hahahhaa, tooo funny... looooooooser cuz I rejected him AGAIN), I dont care that Im graduating and freaked out about job prospects, I dont care that my parents are looking for a boy for me from the homelands (a post in itself - those convos are coming soon, As'ad!), I don't care that I hated the last clubbing session with some dumb blonde girl, I don't care that my arms are big.. no, ok, THAT I care.

This initiative to be a bitch made me realize how nice I was to so many people for the ungodly reason that I hated confrontation, but now I realize it's been so good for me. I think for myself, I'm back in to the groove, and I love it love it love it!

And I love you, TaKilla, Kanai and Scrumplicious, for those beautiful comments in the last post! Esp Kanai :) You rock buddy.

Stop. Bullshitting. Me. Part 2

I wasn't going to post about this, but I need to bitchfest so badly at the moment that if I don't, I'm afraid my head will fall off and explode and splatter my laptop with blood which will not be a very pretty scene to clean up.

Warning: excessive swearing. I will not be very lady like here. If you don't like and will be pissed off, please leave now. I will not apologize.

So I met this guy, totally out of the blue, when I had nary a hope of dating any other man on this planet. I didn't give him hope's bells in getting past the first date because we all know my track record is by now half a date at the most.

But like a true charmer, he did win me over. I'm such a sucker for good manners. There are so many assholes these days that if you so much as open the door and pay for dinner, chances are I will think you are the Dalai Lama. He met me one day, and then he asked me out for the next 3 days.  And when I implied that no, sometimes people have plans consecutive days, he implied that maybe it means that she's really not that into him and since he is true metrosexual sensitive guy, that would sorta hurt.

And since he was SO DAMN AMAZING, and I didn't want to play any dumb cat-and-mouse games with him, I complied. Like a true subservient stupid foolish dumb South Asian woman, I complied. He called me every day like a dutiful husband to be, and I never missed a call. I laughed at any and all dumb jokes. I listened to any and all dumb conversations that had nothing to do with world news or events, that had nothing to do with anything of MY interest, that had nothing to do with travelling, that had nothing to do with pop culture, that had nothing to do with anything I liked. I listened with an open mind. When he stressed that he just didn't want to play games and wanted to get into a relationship, I listened. He even implied that maybe I should meet his little niece and family. I did everything that an old married couple would do, even laughing at the funnies together .. we did everything except the bedroom benefits.

A few days later, he tells me that... I... *sniff* that I'm clingy.

.
.
.
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After taking extreme precautions to give in to HIS requests for night outs.. to coffee meets... to random meets... to random phone calls... to not hurt HIS feelings because I was under the assumption that we were on the same wavelength...  I was being told that I was needy.

THIS, to a woman, who chews guys out the first date if they are so goddamned boring. This to a woman who needs to clear out her calendars to get a toilet break. I never even told him to call me every day! to go out every day! SO NOW IT IS MY FAULT THAT I GAVE IN TO YOUR NEEDS?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

Now I just got a call. And I was explained. Apparently I was too available. Apparently I was too bubbly and active for him. Apparently I just gave in too easily. Apparently I have all the virtues and traits to be a loving mother, but I am not good enough to be commitment material because I AM TOO FUCKING THOUGHTFUL about other people's needs. Nobody likes some dumb nice bitch. Apparently for a relationship to be borne into fruition, the MAN must love the woman MORE than she loves her. Who gives a shit that woman are genetically pre-disposed to be the more loving and nurturing gender... no, that is utter cockshit.  In order for a relationship to work, the MAN must love the woman ten times more than the girl will ever love the guy. Apparently I MUST play games INITIALLY, no matter how many times they say that they dont like mind games.

I have no idea where the fuck people come up with such piece of shit. What the fuck is wrong with them?! I hope and pray these people stay single for the rest of their pathetic lives. I hope they never have kids and..... oh wait, if theyre 60 when they have their first born, I guess that means they'll be dead by the time the kid can speak. Awesome. I hope this happens to every Tom Dick and Dickhead that have such fucked up reasoning in their uneducated brains.

My life will be so much better if I were to live in a world where there are only shoes for amusement. I am sick of dumb stupid dating games. I go to a date after like 2 months and I get my heart bitchfried on. I wasn't even looking. I didn't even want to do this. But what do I do? I do it. Gah. I've even told that to my parents, and then they set me with dumb potatohead morons, who look and sound like something the crocodile spewed out. And then I get more and more crankyness from random relatives and family. And then I have to resort to this piece of crap lifestyle inundated with dates. I just want to be a nun now. I am through through through with life. I am so happy just doing my school shit so I can be a corporate slave and just travel the world one day and maybe get eaten by some cannibals in the Amazon rainforest one day. That is now my life long dream. Anything is better than this. I have no interest in sex. I have no interest in kissing. I have no interest in relationships or other forms of lies. I am sick of crying and wondering what the hell is wrong with me or what the hell is wrong with the next jackass on the street. I am sick of making an effort to listen to utter bullshit only to be told that I am the one thats bullshitting. I am sick sick sick of these fabrications and these mating rituals that makes arranged marriages look like a game of musical chairs. I am sick of men. I am sick of playing normal. I am sick of being so thoughtful and then getting slapped in the face because apparently I am too nice???? WTF is that about? I  am sick of people who say they dont like games and then they do just that.

Why don't people just do what they say?! Is it so wrong to be honest for ONCE in your life?! You won't die from being honest, trust me! It's worked for me! And I'm still alive! Yes, it is one long bloody existence, but you get to sleep at night knowing that you dont have to remember any lies!

I don't get it. I just don't get it. WHAT DO MEN WANT?! Why cant they just figure it out first without messing my bloody head first?!