Stop. Bullshitting. Me. Part 2

I wasn't going to post about this, but I need to bitchfest so badly at the moment that if I don't, I'm afraid my head will fall off and explode and splatter my laptop with blood which will not be a very pretty scene to clean up.

Warning: excessive swearing. I will not be very lady like here. If you don't like and will be pissed off, please leave now. I will not apologize.

So I met this guy, totally out of the blue, when I had nary a hope of dating any other man on this planet. I didn't give him hope's bells in getting past the first date because we all know my track record is by now half a date at the most.

But like a true charmer, he did win me over. I'm such a sucker for good manners. There are so many assholes these days that if you so much as open the door and pay for dinner, chances are I will think you are the Dalai Lama. He met me one day, and then he asked me out for the next 3 days.  And when I implied that no, sometimes people have plans consecutive days, he implied that maybe it means that she's really not that into him and since he is true metrosexual sensitive guy, that would sorta hurt.

And since he was SO DAMN AMAZING, and I didn't want to play any dumb cat-and-mouse games with him, I complied. Like a true subservient stupid foolish dumb South Asian woman, I complied. He called me every day like a dutiful husband to be, and I never missed a call. I laughed at any and all dumb jokes. I listened to any and all dumb conversations that had nothing to do with world news or events, that had nothing to do with anything of MY interest, that had nothing to do with travelling, that had nothing to do with pop culture, that had nothing to do with anything I liked. I listened with an open mind. When he stressed that he just didn't want to play games and wanted to get into a relationship, I listened. He even implied that maybe I should meet his little niece and family. I did everything that an old married couple would do, even laughing at the funnies together .. we did everything except the bedroom benefits.

A few days later, he tells me that... I... *sniff* that I'm clingy.

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After taking extreme precautions to give in to HIS requests for night outs.. to coffee meets... to random meets... to random phone calls... to not hurt HIS feelings because I was under the assumption that we were on the same wavelength...  I was being told that I was needy.

THIS, to a woman, who chews guys out the first date if they are so goddamned boring. This to a woman who needs to clear out her calendars to get a toilet break. I never even told him to call me every day! to go out every day! SO NOW IT IS MY FAULT THAT I GAVE IN TO YOUR NEEDS?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

Now I just got a call. And I was explained. Apparently I was too available. Apparently I was too bubbly and active for him. Apparently I just gave in too easily. Apparently I have all the virtues and traits to be a loving mother, but I am not good enough to be commitment material because I AM TOO FUCKING THOUGHTFUL about other people's needs. Nobody likes some dumb nice bitch. Apparently for a relationship to be borne into fruition, the MAN must love the woman MORE than she loves her. Who gives a shit that woman are genetically pre-disposed to be the more loving and nurturing gender... no, that is utter cockshit.  In order for a relationship to work, the MAN must love the woman ten times more than the girl will ever love the guy. Apparently I MUST play games INITIALLY, no matter how many times they say that they dont like mind games.

I have no idea where the fuck people come up with such piece of shit. What the fuck is wrong with them?! I hope and pray these people stay single for the rest of their pathetic lives. I hope they never have kids and..... oh wait, if theyre 60 when they have their first born, I guess that means they'll be dead by the time the kid can speak. Awesome. I hope this happens to every Tom Dick and Dickhead that have such fucked up reasoning in their uneducated brains.

My life will be so much better if I were to live in a world where there are only shoes for amusement. I am sick of dumb stupid dating games. I go to a date after like 2 months and I get my heart bitchfried on. I wasn't even looking. I didn't even want to do this. But what do I do? I do it. Gah. I've even told that to my parents, and then they set me with dumb potatohead morons, who look and sound like something the crocodile spewed out. And then I get more and more crankyness from random relatives and family. And then I have to resort to this piece of crap lifestyle inundated with dates. I just want to be a nun now. I am through through through with life. I am so happy just doing my school shit so I can be a corporate slave and just travel the world one day and maybe get eaten by some cannibals in the Amazon rainforest one day. That is now my life long dream. Anything is better than this. I have no interest in sex. I have no interest in kissing. I have no interest in relationships or other forms of lies. I am sick of crying and wondering what the hell is wrong with me or what the hell is wrong with the next jackass on the street. I am sick of making an effort to listen to utter bullshit only to be told that I am the one thats bullshitting. I am sick sick sick of these fabrications and these mating rituals that makes arranged marriages look like a game of musical chairs. I am sick of men. I am sick of playing normal. I am sick of being so thoughtful and then getting slapped in the face because apparently I am too nice???? WTF is that about? I  am sick of people who say they dont like games and then they do just that.

Why don't people just do what they say?! Is it so wrong to be honest for ONCE in your life?! You won't die from being honest, trust me! It's worked for me! And I'm still alive! Yes, it is one long bloody existence, but you get to sleep at night knowing that you dont have to remember any lies!

I don't get it. I just don't get it. WHAT DO MEN WANT?! Why cant they just figure it out first without messing my bloody head first?!

Comments

[Zag]

Oooookay. And you say he was a nice guy......

[isheeta]

I take it back... clearly I am unable to tell between Hitler and his proteges..

[Humz]

WHAT A MORON!

I'm telling you if I guy says "he's not into games" - a red flag should go up - because in guy language that means "let the games begin baby".

[Salacious Samosa]

Erm... I don't understand. This post just makes me angry. This is such an incredible double standard. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this harami.

I'm sorry Ish :-(...

I love you,
S

[Anamika]

I feel sorry for you dear and wish I could knock that dude out BUT what you did is totally against the laws of attraction. Never agree to any and everything guys say, it just gets boring and you come across as a desperate person and cool guys never dig a desperate girl.

Just don't forget this lesson next time around.

[isheeta]

humz - truer words could not have been said! i need to brush off my universal shitspeak translator... ive been too kind to too many people..

Samosa - its ok, maybe the harami will meet a woman will day who will treat him like the bitch that he wants.. and all will be well in his harami world... I think its just weird that I am being punished because I am too thoughtful and too nice and not bitchy enough for him!

Anamika - yeah I know what you mean. It does look like I have gone against all laws of being the chased... and ended up looking like the desperado.. instead of him looking like that. So when a guy chases you, he looks like the macho guy (not desperate), but when a girl is nice enough to return the favour, she looks like she is desperate (not kind). So in the just world of dumb games, all is fair.

I hope players burn in hell.

[Shaam]

Ish, you are not alone in this, although that doesnt make it any easier.

I have had very similar experience in the past weeks, whereas being nice and kind were deemed as clingy, when he was doing all the chasing and I only responded!! You gotta play games with these assholes, which is a sad lesson I learnt too late in my life. And there I was, thinking guessing games are for teenagers. I just dont wanna become a nasty game playing bitch.

I dont know what to say sweetie, I am pretty shattered after what I have been through myself. Just hoping that it will get better for us...one day. xxx

[me]

wow...what a post! sitting here at 1am, that really woke me up. dont lose that fire inside, it makes you stand out from the crowd in a totally awesome way! love the bit about going to sleep at night and not having to remember any lie's..now that is a quote for truth! take care..me :)

[pi]

the guy is simply a jerk. if you are aloof and dont show too much interest, you are playing hard to get. if you are nice and actually pick up the call, its being clingy. its jsut ridiculous. dont despair though, there are still lot of good pple around. sadly one has to suffer through a few toads. if someone truly likes you, they wont play these games. frankly, i think you escaped quite a bit of heartache. i wont be surprised if he keeps calling you. ignore and delete.

[isheeta]

Shaam - the only consolation in such scenarios is the reassurance that one is never alone in such dire times.. its a small consolation, but it is one nevertheless. :) thank you

me - thank you. The fire inside is not always good... sometimes it can land you in hot water if you dont pull out the brakes... but at least people appreicate the fact that I do have one! :)

pi - ah, if only i always hit the ignore and delete response every single time i come across morons like that. its a work in progress though, and hopefully Im there sooner than I think!

[Scrumpulicious]

"Apparently I have all the virtues and traits to be a loving mother, but I am not good enough to be commitment material because I AM TOO FUCKING THOUGHTFUL about other people's needs."

Good God, I know how you feel! I remember reading your blog ages ago and then I never found it again! Don't worry - he was just a moron who clearly didn't deserve you!

[sultana]

wow. I can totally relate! Last desi guy I was talking to pulled the same shit on me, and I pretty much went off the edge. And btw, Im usually the total "no-bullshit" type, and I've realized...nice girls get stepped all over on!

[NYC RasLila]

came from ZenDenizen's blog. Wow! you were really good, he's the bitch, not you for wanting so much of your time and then hurting you over giving him what HE obviously wanted and NEEDED!!! Insane fucking bitchboys out there!!!

imo, i know this sounds crazy, but you should just tell him that, if you already haven't, you were being available for HIM, not yourself, in fact you were being polite and entertaining alot of his uninteresting convo to be nice, and that his ultimate behavior have just made you that much more cynical about men; utimately, he's a feeble loser, because he could've communicated the real reasons earlier on. Clingy is not the real reason, that's fucking BS. I'm sorry to say from a man's perspective, he was probably just getting bored at the whole dynamic he was largely responsible for creating and then wasn't man enough to take it to the next level. if he wanted to just bow out, there are so many better and earlier ways to do it, and more honest ways to communicate.

please don't give up on honesty for our fucking sake.

obviously, the dance of desire really sucks oftentimes, but it's really going to make it so incredibly wonderful when it finally does work out.

please don't stay bitter over this, because the right dude is going to deserve what the last asshole got. unfortunately, it is all a game, not in the sense of get over on each other, but we really need to rely on our instincts and intuition to keep ourselves safe. the right guy who really likes you will fight for you and won't just disappear on the basis of one bump in the road, so don't be afraid to just be you all the time. yes, cliche i know, but i know it's true.

[isheeta to NYC RasLila]

NYC Ras - I wanted to say thanks for your very thoughtful insight and comment. Its always nice to know that under the myriad of coal and tar that one succumbs to, there are actually diamonds underneath.

:)

[Michael]

Hilarious and true. You have a way with words.

[Jeffrey]

I'm sitting here laughing my ass off of the things you write and your ways of putting it. Funny how I see a reflection of myself in your scepticism and perception of the world we live in... nice to know that there's at least two of us. And there's nothing wrong with you. you're perfectly healthy. There are just a lot of stupid people out there, men and women, and they seem to multiply by the day, especially here in Scandinavia.

[O.A.]

First Time reader:

You really liked this guy eh? A woman scorned ... but you right, Fuck him anyways especially so because after he dumped you he wanted you back, what a jackass (The common saying about you don't know what you have ...)Now, i am amased though by the fact that you changed who you are for this guy (you said you laughed, agreed...) and yet you want to come across as a feminist on your blog, a female commando? Ah, but we are all not exempt from the pains that come with being a human being, emotions, what a bitch.

If all men are dogs ... what are you equating women to? Don't let a few punks tarnish the image of men, there are lots great ones out there, you could meet him on one of your future travels. Remeber if you block people out and you desire to travel, afraid you going to miss out on the beauty of these places.

Anyways, don't hate me for these thoughts (just like a better understanding).